Friday (31May2019) : He came home flushed. His spasms were worse than before. He sat on his favourite chair, watched the footy and had pineapple for dinner. We then slept, while he kept his phone music on as he couldn’t sleep because of this unusual amount of spasms he was experiencing. A lot more than before.

Saturday(1Jun2019): I tried to wake him up for meals, medications, and drinks. He only grunted every time. I thought he was resting and didn’t pay much attention when he refused to take anything. At 6pm,  he got up, walked around the house with his boxers. He was saying “Baby….mumbles” I couldn’t understand what he was saying but I could hear baby. He lied down on the lounge again and walked to the bedroom saying the same stuff that I couldn’t understand. I started to worry. I called my friends who lived close by. No response.

He started taking off his boxers and now, he’s completely naked. Joey called back and helped me get my act together. He asked me to call a locum doctor. They didn’t pick up soon. I had to use their online booking system which was faster. After less than one hour, Joey came to my house and the locum doctor came too.  T refused to be touched. He wasn’t himself already. The doctor then recommended for me to call the ambulance.

As I was trying to dress T up, Joey, helped me call the ambulance. He passed the phone back to me as the ambulance hotline people were asking some questions, or possibly, they were just trying to calm me down while waiting for the ambulance. I couldn’t dress him up, the ambulance came.

Two paramedics came into the house. I told them again what happened. I asked them to please do not touch his nape. I was afraid that they might force him into the ambulance as he was being too uncooperative. They have been gentle despite T being a little rude and asking them to Fuck off. He wasn’t my T anymore.

They asked for back-up. Now, 4 paramedics in the house. They were asking me to move aside as I was somehow panicking and possibly interrupting their practice. I was crying. Joey was calming me down. Finally, after 1 and half hours of trying, they decided to inject him with a mild sedative, I think. They were able to make T get into the ambulance.

We were in the Emergency Department. They put diapers on him. He was still refusing touch. T is a strong man and it was hard to calm him down when they were putting on IV, taking blood and those electrodes on his body. By then, I was already talking to his whole family. I was waiting for his results the whole night. They informed me about lumbar puncture. Though it is a normal procedure, I knew T wouldn’t let this as he refused touch. The word puncture was also very intimidating to hear. I was like, I don’t think I would want that for myself either. I asked his family if they’re ok with it, they said yes.

We were transferred to the normal ward by 4 or 5am. They were quite nice to me there. By 10 or 11 am, we were transferred to ICU. They wanted to sedate him for his lumbar puncture test. My aunt came for a visit and gave me food. His friends started to come. And Sunday night, his family drove and flew to us to support me and of course, to care for our beloved T.

He was occasionally opening his eyes, but he was not able to talk, move and recognize. He was just looking blankly. There was no soul. There was no reaction. I cried lots. My family back home wasn’t sleeping too. They were right beside me despite they were far away.

Every time, T woke up, and moved, I was running to his face and I would talk to him. Trying my best for him to somehow wake up more or connect. I played his favourite music and made him see footy interviews despite not knowing if he heard them. I am somehow certain it would help. This disposition went on for 4 days. No reaction from my sweet T was so painful. The way he refused people’s touch, the way he looked. It was just too painful to see and watch as he used to be a very passionate and funny individual.

The doctors suggested MRI for him. After investigating his history, they managed to finally decide to go ahead with it. I could finally see some reaction in T’s eyes and t wasn’t a pleasant one. His eyes spoke terror. He was scared to go into the MRI room. I couldn’t stop crying as I couldn’t do anything. I could only take him there, but I couldn’t go inside the room with him. Unfortunately, this first attempt was not as successful as he did not cooperate very well.

Wednesday: I’ve slept beside him the whole time as I didn’t want him to wake up alone and clueless. I wanted to be there when he wakes up and I wanted to be the one explaining to him what happened. Every time, he moved, I was awake, and I kept on running to his face.

At 3am, he moved, as usual, I walked in front of him. He asked, “What happened?” I was happy as he was somehow back. I told him the whole story. Then we fell asleep again at 7am. I was updating his family and friends the whole time. In the morning, they all came and he recognized them. There were some memory lapses like the dates and year. But he was generally getting better and better.

He was calm and patient addressing his memory loss and inability to text. I was like, if this was me, I wouldn’t stop trying to regain my memory the soonest. I would keep on memorizing and practicing. But T was different, he was always positive, and he just won’t stress on things. My complete opposite.

Today, they also decided to send him for MRI again. He was understanding better, hence, the assessment went more smoothly.

All results were apparently normal. There was no formal diagnosis however, they treated him with antiviral and antiseizure and somehow, one of them seemed to be doing miracles.

Thursday: We were discharged from the ICU and we were sent to the normal ward. He’s getting better despite still a little unstable with his gait. The funny T was slowly coming back.

Monday: We were discharged as he wanted to start working the soonest.

After 5days in ICU and 5days in the normal ward, he is finally home. It was an experience I never even imagined happening to me/us. It went as if we were in a movie. It felt unreal.

Looking back, however, I feel somehow relieved that we were able to surpass such a challenge. Not all couples can have a pre-wedding challenge/bonding like that. I shed tears, I prayed, and I allowed myself to be weak and vulnerable. I asked and welcomed hugs, help, and kindness from everyone. I usually will try to keep doing things myself but last week was different. It felt good to be with people.

I was overwhelmed with everyone’s kindness and love for Tim and myself. To my/ his family, and friends, thank you for all your help and prayers. I didn’t only fall in love with him more, I also fell deeper for his family and friends. I now know that Tim’s heart is so amazing because he has been surrounded by wonderful people.

I feel so blessed to be part of his life because I know I will become a better human being with him. That is bigger than travelling 50 percent of the world.

This month, we will not be doing the usual wedding preparations, instead, we will ensure Tim gets his strength back to enable him to enjoy our Big day (and to make sure I pass exams I requested to delay because of this interesting turn of events)

To my friends and family, I can’t thank you enough as well.
I am grateful! VERY BIG THANK YOU to all of you!!!!!!