Recently. there’s a debate going on in my mind. I’m in a crossroad, if I can term it that way. My question to myself, as per the title of this entry implies, should I strive for change or should I just be happy and content with what I have as of now?
There’s fire burning inside me that’s craving or longing for a change. I couldn’t decipher but it feels like a calling, a call from a higher being. It makes my heart ache and beat faster at the same time. Am I longing or craving? A book from Oriah the Mountain Dreamer stated that longing and craving are two different things, craving usually brings about temporary happiness and satisfaction, whereas longing, would stretch deep within and it would bring about satisfaction that will last longer.
Recently, I have been reading and this entry was actually inspired by these readings;
First let’s talk about being still, content and just being happy with the here and now. According to the article I read last night, Generation Y (born in 1970-90’s), including myself, generally have this perception that we are special. Egoistic as it may sound, but it’s somehow true. We always think that we are the sole-beings that can make a difference and change this world?
With the invent of all these social media stuff, we all could see and freely compare ourselves with others, despite we know that people usually only posts items that would make them look good and seldom that people would “announce” something bad about themselves just like their own confusions and self-doubt, well, generally speaking, but of course there are still a few who would broadcast even the slightest fart they just released.
Anyway, according to the article, our grandparents (greatest generation), because they were born during the war, they were obsessed with providing economic security to the family hence they brought up their children, our parents (baby boomers), only instilling to them the virtue of having practical and secure careers. However, because obviously after the economy’s depression era (our grandparents’ era), there’s no other way but for it to recover, our parents’ were blinded by the progress that was happening during that time. They were financially rewarded for their hard works hence, provided us, the Gen Ys or Yuppies, never-ending possibilities to study, achieve and eventually instilled to us the virtue of hard work similar to how they did it.
But, that’s not the only thing we want. We want a career that would provide not only financial security, but also, fulfilment in life. We want to change the world, remember? We are expecting too much, comparing too much, and at the same time, disappointing ourselves too much too.
I was thinking, is this the root cause of me wanting to change something in my life? If it is, then it’s not worthy. The article offered three advices for us to feel less unhappy; (1) Stay wildly ambitious (2) Stop thinking you’re special. (3)Ignore everyone else.
How’s this connected to my question? Well, I am trying to investigate on my motives. Reading articles such as this makes me think and introspect, am I just being hypercritical with my own life due to too much comparing or am I really unhappy?
Here’s a poem to stillness and just enjoying now;
– – Rumi
Embracing change however, was said to be the key to happiness according to an article from BBC? I, most of the time would choose some things that are not wonderful, but familiar, career-wise. I stayed in one workplace for a very long time. Despite every day, we are dealing with different people, I still find that what I do is somehow monotonous.
It is true that if the change is personally initiated, it would feel good and rewarding most of the time, as opposed to the kind of change that is imposed or forced upon you. Forced changes can sometime become too daunting, and most of the time, these are the types of changes that humans reject and fight so badly to avoid. In the process, we become cruel and negative. Change-avoidance was said to form a prison and walking outside it is definitely appalling. But, while these changes kept on coming in, if only we take a deep breath and just dance with it, it can make us more resilient, more understanding and stronger.
According to the article, approaching the changing reality of reality with sensible flexibility is the best strategy for happiness. “and if I can change my mind, I can change anything else I need to.”
My favourite comment from the BBC article was from Kate, According to her, “ Now that I’m much older, I have discovered that many of the bad things that have happened to me have actually been the unrecognized beginnings of the best parts of my life.” Honestly, I feel the same. =)
Well, I guess change isn’t bad after all. So my question remains, should I go or stay? Let’s see where stillness or change brings me.
I better stop here because I’m starting to get incoherent. =b
Readings + Inspiration
The Call: Discovering why you are here by Oriah the Mountain Dreamer