A while ago, I was at the middle of composing a different entry but suddenly, got distracted with a conversation I had with my good friend/colleague. I was having my homemade spring rolls then,

she said, “Pia will get rich because of this” ;

I said “because of what?”;

She didn’t want to complete her sentence because she said I might get angry.

I already knew what she’s getting into.

I said, “What? Stingy?”

She said, “You found the word”.

Ok. I wasn’t angry but it made me think. By definition, stingy would mean, (1) not generous or liberal : sparing or scant in using, giving, or spending (2) meanly scanty or small (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary)

Am I like that? I don’t think so. I have to say that, what I want and need, are just completely different from what you or anyone else desires.

I am a woman who’s desire for material womanly-things, like gold, bags, dresses or even technology, is less than a pinch.  Though I don’t mind spending for a new lesson, be it krav maga or pole dancing or runs and races or even books or travels.

I desire things that can enrich my inner longings, not just the physical ones. I desire to keep on challenging myself to improve and learn, not just about enriching my employability skills, but also about improving my life in general.

I want to improve my SELF in a deeper sense. I always have this thinking that, I should always be ready if my creator takes me, the less baggage I have, the easier I can head up to him.

Let’s take my phone as an example. I’m currently using a China-made not so smart phone. It has wifi and all but it’s just always saying full memory even if I had deleted everything in it already. I always joke about the fact that it feels when I badly needed it because it hangs every time there’s an emergency. It has the ability to panic with me. It functions well when it’s in a good mood though. My friends are begging me to buy a new one, a better one. I have enough money to buy but not enough urge and motivation to do so.

I saw a portable pole for pole dancing yesterday. I badly wanted to have one but it costs a lot. My friend discouraged me from getting one, because it’s just too expensive.  She asked me just to get a ‘mini pole‘, with a naughty smile on her face. The more these people are denying and preventing me from getting it, the stronger my longing gets. Why do I like that pole?  It’s because I want to practice my pole skills, fitness, flexibility and I love dancing. It makes me happy to be able to learn new routines and be able to do things  I couldn’t do before.

I don’t immediately give in to temptations of food and other material goods.  I always think twice or more; Ask myself these questions; Do I really want this? Do I really need this? Will I really be happy and satisfied if I get this thing for myself? Most items can only offer temporary happiness, I want stuffs that can make me happy for a long time.

I like to climb mountains and explore new places. I never mind spending for these just because it challenges me and these provide me with satisfaction that I’d be able to retain for a lifetime. These teach me lessons that I can bring and remember until the day my neurons are not anymore as healthy.

My friend loves food and other stuff that I am not so interested in and I respect that, same thing that I should be respected for prioritizing experiences over these stuffs

I’m writing this not because I hated the term she used, well partly, but more of, to make people like her understand the concept of individual differences and mutual respect in relation to that.

Thats all.

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Well, am I stingy? I guess not. My motivations, needs and wants are just different from everyone else.