Theme for today’s Eucharistic celebration was “to follow Christ…”
Celebrant: Fr. Jacob
Readings were taken from;
1st Reading: 1 Kings 19:16 19-21
2nd Reading: Galatians 5:1 13-18
Gospel: Luke 9: 51-62
Today’s Liturgy and homily, like an arrow, pierced my heart directly. My heart bled for it’s like my confused plead was answered. Message was like; do not be afraid that “Once the hand is laid on the plough, no one who looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”
Father also mentioned about some quotations from famous books by which I heard something about leaving one’s comfort to follow Christ.
The thing is, now, I am in the process of deciding whether to apply in a job opening located somewhere less comfortable than where I currently am. Less convenient it is, but nevertheless, it’s still very appealing to me. I don’t know why.
I’ve been praying for a job in any place where there are budget airlines going to and fro the Philippines. Aussie, NZ, Canada etc were never alluring to me despite numerous opportunities only because there’s no budget carriers going directly to and back my first beloved home, Philippines.
Wish granted, this particular job’s location has a budget carrier back to my home country, and that made it very attractive. But I am not sure about the exact purpose of this urge to relocate? I am comfortable here, and just playing with the world and life while I am already earning decently. With my friends, I have built my second home here.
Why do this “thing” inside me, like an omnipotent parasite poisoning my blood, heart and brain to leave this comfortable place, never dies? It’s just in there, clinging to my system?
Questions I will never be able to answer unless I try.
We sang this a while ago;
The Galilee Song
Deep within my heart I feel (within my heart I feel)
Voices whispering to me (whispering to me)
Words that I can’t understanding (I can’t understand)
Meanings I must clearly hear (clearly hear)
Calling me to follow close (calling me to follow)
Lest I leave myself behind –
Calling me to walk into –
Evening shadows one more time! (one more time)
So I leave my boats behind!
Leave them on familiar shores!
Set my heart upon the deep!
Follow you again, my Lord!
In my memories I know (my memories I know)
How you send familiar rains;
Falling gently on my days;
Dancing patterns on my pain! (on my pain)
And I need to learn once more
in the fortress of my mind:
To believe in falling rain –
As I travel deserts dry!
As I gaze into the night
Down the future of my years (future of my years)
I’m not sure I want to walk (sure I want to walk)
Past horizons that I know!
But I feel my spirit called (But I feel my spirit called)
Like a stirring deep within –
Restless ’til I live again (live again)
Beyond the fears that close me in! (close me in!)
And while singing, saliva started to block my throat, my heart was aching, beating like running after something, my tears wanted to start dripping but I tried to control lest others will ask why and I would not know how to explain.
Should I? Maybe I should.