When we willingly offered to help and the person refuses to be helped out it makes us feel bad. I don’t exactly know if it’s a universal feeling or it’s just me being over-sensitive once again?!
Well, here I am, trying to introspect and further rationalize this consistent feeling of hurt that sometimes, grow into annoyance and abhorrence that can soon blossom into a swear that ‘never would i ever offer my help to this person again.’
I searched online but most topics related to this comes out to be “when a loved one refuses treatment” which was not my topic of interest. Well, I didn’t bother to read the items because I guess the feeling I’m having is idiosyncratic and is not really universal, hence I just decided to search inertly.
Ok. Here’s what came about my brief introspection. When I offer to help out, I, usually, am happy to do so. The “YES! I want to help out” attitude usually comes from the heart, knowing that In my own little ways and resources, I am capable of doing so. The feeling of gratefulness for this capability and opportunity goes into my brain, hence the urge to express it, “Can I help you?”, “Is that it, I’m free, I can help you with it?”.
When a person says no to an offer that comes from both my brain and heart, I feel disappointed. Well, it’s like the feeling of you already thought of something and you already wanted it badly then you didn’t get it.
Could it be because of my (hard to admit) pride? Am I making it hard on myself again? The feeling that ‘what does this person think of me? I can’t do it? I’m not qualified to do it? Or another person is better in doing this than I am?’
Well, I guess so. Haha as much as I am embarrassed to admit, I have this tendencies. Something I have to learn to control and avoid. Well putting this into writing makes me want to laugh at myself. I’m actually spoiling my day just because of crushed pride. I should just have the attitude, “you don’t want my help, it’s your loss, not mine.goodbye-brush the incident off my sleeves.”
*disgusted but grinning to myself*