what kind of….

person have i become? After watching one of the episodes of Gossip Girls, I started thinking,

Im not particularly sure what kinda person i turned into when i started getting mired into this adult world. Ive changed a lot. Now I dont give a sh$% on what other people think about me. I’ll say and do whatever, whether its gonna hurt other people or not. I feel like ive turned into a monster! Im bothered because I feel that im losing myself. I wasnt like this before.

I hate to say that being here, away from people who really loves me, makes me feel that I always have to prove myself.  there’s an internal (or external) pressure to know everything, coz unable to do so, i think, will cause disrespect and oppression. Its a struggle for me. I wanna stay simple, just be passive as much as possible, and just be contented of being a wallflower, but people just pushes me to know, be active and sometimes, to pretend to know and intellectualize in order to obtain respect! By the way, they also push me to get angry and irritated!

I guess, all I wanna say is…..I miss my comfort zone. I miss my home ,my mom, dad and sis. I miss being myself! I miss the girl I was with them…I miss being kind, sensitive and loving to others. shall i escape from here? I wish its that easy.

About Miss_Pia

Neurotic Health-care Professional who enjoys sleeping, running, reading, introspecting, pole art and exploring new things and sometimes, places!
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